"... you're magnificent!" ah, george sanders, if only that were the case.
i haven't bathed since friday. in fact, i've barely gotten out of bed. i've been living off of ginger cookies, pbr, starburst, and turkish golds. i'm prone to crying jags and fall asleep at the drop of a hat. i'm miserable. my nose is still cracking and bleeding from blowing it so much. my allergies are so bad that my eyes are swollen too big to open all the way.
it's been a rough week - losing my grandpa, losing my job, losing my meds, losing my life... i just can't switch myself outta this mode. partially, i don't care to. what's the point? i mean really, what is the point? what am i gonna do - go to job interviews from employers who never even bother to call me back to tell me i didn't get the job? stare at my phone that never rings unless it's bad news? go out with the friends i don't have? sew some stuff up for my store that no one will ever buy? maybe i should just play more guitar hero. yeah, playing a fake guitar in a video game all by myself will really make me feel better.
i hate everything.
4 comments:
Oh SusiePrue,
I am so sorry and extend my deepest sympathy on the loss of your Grandpa.
Anything I say about how you are feeling will sound insignificant. I know how you are feeling, and I hope you feel better soon.
The greatest thing in the world when you are down is a change of scene, and to go someplace different. OF COURSE that is just what all of us cannot afford. My husband is out of work, and I have my own business too, but it's really only part time money, and now is when I want to just GO SOMEWHERE, but of course none of us can actually AFFORD to.
I have felt just like you in the past and totally sympathize. As I have gotten older though, things don't seem quite as depressing to me; you'd think it would be the opposite. Maybe the anti-depressants help! I am on them for Migraines and NOT for depression, but it certainly helps.
We all are entitled to some self pity and just plain having a BAD DAY OR WEEK. I just breaks my heart to see you feeling this way, and I hope you feel better soon. I know we don't know each other, but I look at your photos on Flickr.
The sun will come out tomorrow.
Hugs, Sharon
everything sucks, i completely agree, but you are SO fabulous you must go on! you must know one of these employers will get their heads out of their butts and see how fabulous you are and beg you to work for them!
as for your clothes and sewing...well...i just WISH i were the right size cause i LOVE everything you put up there. it is all so totally my style! google will lead the right people to your store. it will happen!
and if you ever want to get out of the rain, and visit the sun, you are welcome any time in austin. we fashion forward vintage girls would love to have you over for the weekend.
cheers. heather(inblack) at heathershair, you know, dot com...
Sending you good thoughts and support to you. My condolences regarding your grandfather.
thank you all so much. i'm starting to feel better but i'm still pretty much a mess. the funeral will be on friday and i think that will help a lot.
again, thank you. i feel like you guys are giving me hugs right now and that feels so nice.
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