búp bê and why i'm a mean auntie

the workday is over and i'm sipping cheap beer and preparing to read a book that will help my company create a successful twitter account. workaholic - yes, alcoholic - the jury's still out on that one...
i drove home through a beautiful pink seattle sunset that i just couldn't capture in a picture. i tried!
this is wilbert. he's my xander's tree frog.

when i got to my mom and dad's on sunday, xander was so excited to show him to me. he'd been sleeping with him in his room for the past two nights.

as cute as he was, wilbert just didn't seem happy. his breathing was frantic and i worried that perhaps a jar wasn't the best home for him. i coaxed xander into letting him go free and then exclaimed, "look how happy he is! he's gonna go find his mom and tell her all about you and how you're such a fun friend!"

xander ran off with tears streaming down his face.

to make him feel better, i bought him his first good humor strawberry shortcake bar...

...and let him stand in front of the women's fitness center and savor it. hey - no ice cream in my car! we got some nasty looks, but what the hell? it cheered the kid up.

my aunt thuy and uncle merle are in town and thuy kept calling me búp bê. that's vietnamese for doll. i kinda like it!

we sat on the deck when the sun set and listened to the frogs. i translated wilbert's ribbits for xander, convincing him he was telling all the other frogs about how cool my nephew is so he wouldn't feel so bad about letting him go.

i was kinda late getting over on sunday since i actually went out on saturday night. i met up with cory and christine at the eagle's lodge in ballard for the scooter insanity party.
cory won the "best rat bike" award but one of the wrenches broke off the trophy. some blue electrical tape made it good as new and also helped re-attach his license plate!pretty soon, a whole slew of bikes decorated with cardboard facades rolled up to the eagle's lodge.

what's funnier - the attached ashtray or the fact that someone smokes while cycling?

the snail rocked. the lego-cycle...... and the lego-man cyclist!
the rollaroid had a functional flash and sound effects to simulate a polaroid camera. where do they find the time? oh yeah - they're probably unemployed or underemployed like the rest of us.
wow! that one looks just like a shitty car! oh, wait. sorry!the cock had taplight eyes, causing me and some other onlookers to recite the taplight infomercial. but wait - don't order yet!

i was so thankful to get out and do something constructive. i was soooooo close to using rabid sci-fi geek tweets to stalk nathan fillion through seattle but this was much more fun and considerably less creepy. although i think after cory bought me a shot, i pinched the ass of a sweaty cyclist wearing a little kid's flannel sleeper bib.

incoherent thought and random babbling are usually a good sign i should sleep. goodnight, all!

no more yanky my wanky!

nicole, i LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE this card! i started laughing out loud when i opened the envelope and saw it. you are such a doll and the sweet message meant a lot to me. your friendship means so much to me as well - i miss being in portland with you. i wish i could move back down there. seattle kinda sucks. i never really made many friends up here and the ones i did make have either moved away or gotten girlfriends or just kinda stopped hanging out for whatever reason.

i miss you, my leggy blonde friend! i was thinking about you last night while watching my new favorite movie, wristcutters, because it has a bunch of gogol bordello songs. i know you heart them!

so yeah, everyone needs to watch that movie. shannyn sossamon has THE best hair ever, the story rocks, the music is too fun (besides gogol, the suicide world has a jukebox that blares christian death and joy division taking me back to my teen goth days), and patrick fugit grew up to be damned hot. i need to add him to my kiss list.i love coming home to a big pile of partially digested cat food on my bedroom floor. especially after a long rough day of work. what is with nasty bitchy rich chicks? one stared at me blatantly for 20 minutes while her manicure dried with that awful "i'm sizing you up and it isn't looking good for you" gaze. this other C.yoU.Next.Tuesday. got all pissy about a 10 minute wait and said she'd just come back tomorrow before her flight. i said, "perfect! we open at six AM." to which she responded, "well isn't that nice for you." rolled her eyes and stomped out the door. bitch.

i finished reading the neon bible today and i almost cried. i think i was a bit saddened by all the death in the entertainment world today. ed was a legend, farrah's death hit me hard (i wish she could've married ryan before she passed!), and MJ was a huge shock. people were running through the airport screaming, "MICHAEL JACKSON DIED!!!!" and many people cried. of course, quite a few said some bitter and nasty stuff about him.

RE: Michael Jackson

peeps, i know he was strange and committed crimes, but let's all remember that he was a father, a son, and a brother to some people. quit ragging about the shit in his life and embrace the musical legacy he left us. MJ rocked. this is a fact that cannot be disputed. everyone is entitled to their opinion of him, but a human life was lost today. have a heart.

end of conversation.

if i gaze through my snowglobe, it looks like you all have dandruff. bad.

taffeta dress: target

puffy sleeve top: f21

horseshoe and bit necklace: mmefortuna.etsy.com

custom wooden literary bracelet: palomasnest.etsy.com

black fishnets: UO

clunker shoes: hot topic

here comes the rain again

i LOVE rain! i needed it so badly - my car was filthy, my plants were dying and the air was thick with pollen smog. thank you, sweet clouds! yay seattle!

so i haven't done much lately besides work, which has gotten tres bien-er as of late. my co-worker conflict ended when the tense manicurist found herself in need of a feminine hygiene product she could not obtain from any of our other workmates. go figure! likely explains the whole thing...

i got to visit xander on sunday and monday and it was so wonderful. dang, that kid KILLS me! i took him to the library and signed him up for the summer reading program and then we thrifted a bit with my mom. i found a ton of art supplies for xander for 25 cents - foil stars, brand new crayola markers, etc. he had been drawing pictures for me during the month i couldn't come to see him and handed me a stack as soon as i walked in the house. he is so smitten with his crazy spinster auntie! what a guy.

so here's a bit of wardrobe rewind just in case you were missing it.

last wednesday

this was supposed to be my day off but i got called in. breaking the rules here, i know, but cut a girl some slack!
polka dot ruffle dress: vintage
green coat: macy's
green frye boots: zappos

last thursday
proof that i actually dress like this at work! isn't our little shop cute?
tattered ballerina dress: dinwiddies.etsy.com
black shirt: nordstrom
black lace ruffle skirt: libertine for target
black tights
boots: frye

today's outfit was totally clara bow inspired and as you can see, i FINALLY got my hair cut short enough that i actually like it again. i felt like a broken record at the budget cuts place.
"no, SHORTER! no, really, SHORTER!!!! no, just gimme the scissors. see? make the rest of it match that chunk i just cut out."peachy polka dot poly suit: vintage off etsy
brown cape
mink stole
black tights
my favorite 40s dancing shoes: victorianbustle.etsy.com

i know this is such a short entry but i'm dying to watch my new netflix arrival. besides, i'm beat.
love and kisses anyways!
(and i will post a blog about the amazing things you all shared with me when i was down and begging for humor. you all rock!!!)

a belle and sebastian kind of day

"did i leave the gas on? no! i'm a fucking squirrel!"

[there would've been a video here but youtube hates me tonight. just pretend, ok?]

the song i really wanted to post was "it could've been a brilliant career" but no such luck. it was SO apropos, too.

just a taste:

"It could have been a brilliant career...

...She challenged everyone to a fight

But the prefects all backed down

And they ran her out of town

Cause she drank and swore and spoke

Out of turn, she was the village joke"

but in all honesty, EVERY belle and sebastian song rang true for me today. while that's generally kinda cool, i sorta hate it when that happens.

i always stand like this, you know. especially when taking self portraits in my front yard.

forgive me - i already downed half the wine.can i profess my love for diana dors? yes, her gorgeous british mug graced the cover of the smiths album of singles but i developed a deeper devotion after seeing her on celluloid. poor girl was marketed as "the british marilyn monroe" even though her career started much earlier than norma jean's. i feel she was never truly given the respect she deserved.

i marvelled at her screen presence while watching "nothing but the night" cause she totally rocked it as a twisted murderess and spurned mother cruising around in a station wagon with hissing cats painted on it. even though she was barely in the film, she truly stole it from such heavy hitters as christopher lee, peter cushing, and christopher lee's 70s moustache. she's not even supposed to be hot in this film but she so was. god rest her vicious little soul. may i be as fiery when i'm in my 40s. yes, that is christopher lee and christopher lee's 70s moustache.

needless to say i'm still being ostracized at work but i did rescind my notice. they totally just hate me because of my vast vocabulary and incredible sense of style. i'd probably hate me too.

my saving grace is my friend diane who manages the massage place next door and her partner gray who works at the mocha bar in the main terminal. they are too flippin' cool for words and even appreciate my sarcastic and narcissistic quips. plus diane swears i remind her of pauley perette, mostly because of my ginormous shoes and my skull & crossbone legwarmers.

pauley.

me.

just wanted to clear up any confusion you may have. it's okay, it happens all the time.

where were you on friday night?

the deal

ok, here's what happened.

our manager has been ill and i was asked to assist with running stuff. last week, one of the girls wanted to leave early and we needed her to stay - it was busy and another person was running late. she stayed a bit but left an hour and a half early anyway and she got in trouble for it (not by me). this really pissed her off. so on tuesday she started being extremely rude to me. she ordered me around, mocked me on the salesfloor, screamed at me saying i was screwing things up, etc. she basically went naomi campbell, even flinging a clipboard at me. whatever, i can deal. i'm poor.

so our manager just got back and decided this girl and i should talk to nip it in the bud. that's cool, but the girl was so outta line during this "talk". she did her little impersonation of me again, screamed at me and claimed she doesn't speak very good english so she didn't understand that she was supposed to stay and work her entire scheduled shift. then she says, "i'm language handicapped." wtf? WAY outta line! she acknowledged that she was picking on me and said she wouldn't stop and storms outta the office. the manager assured me she was ok, but i said that i wasn't. and i'm not.

i was scheduled to work this morning which would've had me in the shop with this girl for three hours before the manager came in. by the time i got home last night, i was feeling sick to my stomach. i desperately need this job - i'm still far behind on rent and utilities and am running outta basic stuff like toothpaste and toilet paper! but the more i thought about dealing with this girl, the sicker i got. i didn't sleep at all and spent the night on the bathroom floor sick as hell.

so dumb ass me, sick and sleep deprived and stressed so badly i was shaking, decided to call in and then e mail my two week's notice. i finally felt some of the stress lift and dozed off for a few hours.

cut to me waking up and realizing what had happened and throwing up again. see, i'm already in a legal appeal with unemployment because they say i quit my old job. you can't get unemployment if you quit.

so what the fuck is a chick supposed to do? should i try to rescind the notice and hope stuff gets better? should i suck it up and sell off my belongings to keep the lights and water on?

i'm fucked up and i know it. i have spent the last year wallowing in self pity, convincing myself that i will never find success, love, security, etc. self sabotage, eh? but i really do want to get better. i want to grow and achieve and have friends and laugh and be silly and get a job and be able to take care of myself. i've isolated myself for three weeks now, convinced i can't function normally. this is bad. and i won't lie - i've had majorly self destructive thoughts.

i considered calling my therapist and begging for some guidance but then i got a call from her saying she'd sent me to collections for the bills my insurance didn't cover. i know i really need to get some sort of help but i just don't know where to turn. DSHS is not responding to my requests for help either. the state is so overloaded with requests for help that they just can't get to everyone and people who pop out babies come first. that's just the way it works.

now don't freak out - i'm not gonna snuff myself, but i am hurting so bad that i'm barely functional. i just want to laugh and forget myself for a bit. please just share with me some ridiculous story or joke or strange occurrence. i need levity and i need to escape my solitude for just a bit. you can do this through a comment or a twitter or even a text or phone call. just e mail me if you want my number but don't leave a voice mail cause i can't get them until i pay my bill. c'mon, i dare ya. let's just see what happens. consider it an experiment. the results will be published!

susie sunshine

i am a positive being of light, right? yeah. that's the ticket. i will only think happy thoughts now, i'll muse on my favorite things such as:

time machines

spooky attics

antique toys

flappers in rolled stockings
buffy comic books

smiths-era morrissey (so he's not happy, per se, but he makes me feel that way)vintage prom dresses

hammer films

creme brulee

mod boys in suits

walls of books

bobbed hair and smokey eyes

gerber daisies

striped circus tents

madame fortuna necklaces

but i won't think about the fact that i gave notice at work. *gulp*

what the fuck am i gonna do?