out of focus

why are all the bees dying? that would be a dead bumble bee on my steps.
i wish i was the girl i pretend to be in my pictures - sorta carefree, happy-go-lucky and all, but i'm not. this is my fantasy world. in the real world, i feel like half a person, a has-been.

sorta out of focus, you know?

i had a rough day and i just want to get one message across:
every person you meet, even the lousiest of the lousy are people. they have emotions. they have people that care about them. they digest every word you say and thought you think. wouldn't you like them to be positive ones?

so i am "just a hostess" and i limp when i walk; i hurt when you hurt me. i hate to give people that kind of power over me but i do.

dear readers,
please treat other humans as humans. if you see someone stumble, make sure they're okay. that cripple on the bus? consider giving up your seat to them even though your day has been long and rough too. that sad cashier at the 7-11? smile and look them in the eye when you buy your lottery ticket and cigarettes. you don't know what their struggles are nor should you. just allow them to feel human for one brief moment. they will never forget it. i promise.

i have to get some rest. i have a doctor's appointment (which i cannot pay for) tomorrow to confirm my status as "disabled." i prefer the term "crippled" since it sounds so much more FDR, ya know?

today's outfit:
navy blue velvet dress: forever 21
doily scarf and embellishment: borrowed from idea by the black apple, accoutrements from goodwill
cable knit tights: the gap
shoes: hot topic
bracelet: custom from palomasmnest.etsy.com

last thursday's outfit:
black dress with crocheted trim: anthro
diorama necklace: mmefortuna.etsy.com
grey over-the-knee socks: target
hair flower: purchased at the concession booth at the moisture festival
motorcycle boots: frye

long live red lipstick! amen for cruella matte stick from nars and dubonnet from MAC.

a true update will occur tomorrow. my landlord rocks, unemployment sucks, and dshs is slow as molasses!