the things people say to me....
have you ever seen a french maid outfit? ftw?
sunshine, this is an OLD maid outfit.
yes gang, it's official. i am an old maid. i've suspected it for a long time but today reality finally set in. it used to be that all of my friends were in relationships, but i realized that now they're all married. and a lot of them have kids, too. oh lord. i can't even keep a car for more than a few years!
my prospects of getting out of this are dim, too. why? think for a minute here:
i own control-top panties.
i buy boxed wine.
i have two cats that i talk to and take lots of pictures of.
i like to embroider.
i collect tons of junk and live in clutter.
i don't wear heels (well that's not really by choice, but STILL).
i'm eccentric.
i watch "the golden girls".
i eat frozen dinners and yoplait.
i love vincent d'onofrio (VERY bad sign).
holy crap, this is bad. help!
i'd better wear a tutu tomorrow. somehow i just know that'll solve everything.
pray for me.
and can i get some big strong man to help me get my window closed? i can't go all winter with it stuck open. i'll make you cookies! (this is an actual plea for help with the window and not some veiled ploy to get me a man. sickos.)
4 comments:
Awww. I know how you feel! But you can't use the term Old Maid. My friend and I prefer Spinster. Much more dignified and seems to go with my penchant for knitting. Embroidery works too!
when i was a kid, i thought a spinster was some kind of a large spider who wore glasses and a shawl and lured kids and animals into her web. i bet i got that from a cartoon.... corruptible minds of youth! susie the spinster - has a nice yet tragic ring to it, huh?
Susie, i know you are not actually MEANING to make me pee myself laughing, but that is what is happening. listen girl, i have been with the man i love for 17 years, we could even have had some kids if we wanted them (no thanks, cats with their Complex Emotions will do just fine) and I LOVE LOVE. that said, there's so much you can't do in life when you have a romantic partner. the "wonderful autonomy of single girls" is as much a flight of fantasy of us Marrieds as Mr. Right may be to you. just sayin'. Yoko Ono just did an interview where she saud she doesn't want a man cause "men are like children- they need too much". in love as i am, i must concur.
still it would be nice to have someone to kick outta the bed for eating crackers.
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