the insides are all useless but the rest is fertile soil

i am far too old to be having these holden caulfield moments.

this is what my life feels like right now:
so let's all get caught up.
saturday i met up with grey and diane for the season closing bout of the dockyard derby dames. what to wear.... frilly girly and pink, of course.ooh - and crochet! let's go all delicate for a rough and tumble night of roller derby sportage.
all day i felt fat and bloaty. you know those days? i felt out of sorts and just chalked it up to being susie. like ya do.

can i just say that the tacoma derby crowd is very, well, tacoma? way to go, suburbia. our gang (joined by a few of diane's co-workers and friends) congregated in the bar. grey was the first to notice the lame-ity of the crowd. she actually lit up when she spotted another lesbian. poor gal was by herself. we sucked on our beers and tried to watch the bout from the second floor bar windows but were foiled by the suburb mall "frat" boys.
"oh! there's another one!" grey's lesbian had performed a spontaneous mitosis and now there were two. we took this as a good sign. but then came the half-time show.hey tacoma derby girls - when the SCA approaches you about including foam padded weapons jousting in your next season bouts, do us all a favor and JUST SAY NO!!!!! i would've thought that was a given. when you assume, susie....
that pretty much ended my night. i blew kisses to the dear gang o' mine, readied my rape whistle/glowstick/flashlight and started hiking to my car. funny, i thought, diane must've moved their car at some point. it's not parked in front of mine anymore....
and why i didn't text her right then? no clue. must've been that out-of-sorts feeling. yes, their car was stolen. and they suffered through the SCA joust. poor girls!

so sunday i felt lethargic and crappy. i barely got out of bed. i dozed off pretty early and had a dream that my mom was filling a prescription for anti-nausea medication for me. then i woke up. i really was feeling kinda sick. i started walking but my legs failed me. i crawled to the bathroom and was sick for almost 20 minutes straight. i slithered back to my bedroom and texted work - no way i'm gonna be there. i was sick again and again and again. as soon as i'd take a sip of water i was sick before i could swallow. then linus starts empathy puking. did you know cats could do that? neither did i. leave it to linus!
long story short i ended up in the ER. look - they matched my IV to my purse!and how weird am i for taking a picture? so after the blood work, CAT scan, ultra-sound, swine flu swab, urinalysis and chest x rays, they chalked it up to bacteria. and did i mention i have no insurance? yes, they gave me the charity paperwork. fingers crossed!
i'm still in a huge amount of pain and on a liquid diet. i swear i ripped up all my abdominal muscles. or at least that's what it feels like. but HUGE thank you to cory and christine for taking me to the hospital (the cab refused me!), staying there with me and stopping at the grocery store for me on the way home. i really really owe you guys!i love that picture! maybe it's their bitchin' haircuts. so today i'm trying to re-acclimate. i feel so moody and stressed. the huge hospital bill and abbreviated paycheck looming over me aren't helping so i bullied on over to square america for some help taking my mind off things.this is fry's girl. whose girl am i?
whine whine whimper....